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my girlfriend tries to help me write comedy sometimes.
“oh my god, i have a thing you can make a joke out of, i think. it can be part of your offensive stuff.
i was with these two girls, you know, melissa, and rachel? and melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand - i guess she keeps burning herself with her curling iron? so yeah, melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand, so i guess no more handjobs.
and rachel was like you could use your left hand, and melissa was like my left hand is retarded.
so there’s a joke there, right? like who says retards can’t give good handjobs?
is that mean? it seems mean. like past offensive, to mean. it’s pry too mean. i thought you can make it not mean, though, just kind of offensive and funny. okay, i’m gonna stop talking now.”