March 2012
15 posts
February 2012
27 posts
“If them cowards really want me come get me and even I someday will die but I’m cautious I’m fin’ to ride Put down the top, now we flossin! Hit the freeway, let the wind blow, drop the window Workin with a twenty sack of indo, feelin’ good” - Me, yelling outside the bathroom door.
“Shut the fuck up and let me floss my fucking teeth in peace!!!” -...
7 tags
“YOU ARE A BUTTHOLE TO THE MAX RIGHT NOW.”
– my girlfriend.
my girlfriend tries to help me write comedy sometimes.
“oh my god, i have a thing you can make a joke out of, i think. it can be part of your offensive stuff.
i was with these two girls, you know, melissa, and rachel? and melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand - i guess she keeps burning herself with her curling iron? so yeah, melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand,...
