February 2012
22 posts
“If them cowards really want me come get me and even I someday will die but I’m cautious I’m fin’ to ride Put down the top, now we flossin! Hit the freeway, let the wind blow, drop the window Workin with a twenty sack of indo, feelin’ good” - Me, yelling outside the bathroom door.
“Shut the fuck up and let me floss my fucking teeth in peace!!!” -...
7 tags
“YOU ARE A BUTTHOLE TO THE MAX RIGHT NOW.”
– my girlfriend.
my girlfriend tries to help me write comedy sometimes.
“oh my god, i have a thing you can make a joke out of, i think. it can be part of your offensive stuff.
i was with these two girls, you know, melissa, and rachel? and melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand - i guess she keeps burning herself with her curling iron? so yeah, melissa was like omg i keep burning my right hand,...
January 2012
37 posts
My girlfriend is either a psychopath, or an...
The scene:
Stuck in two-lane X Games traffic.
Me: Driver seat.
Girl: Passenger seat.
I’m looking straight ahead. She’s looking past me.
Girl: Hey. Hey. Those people. Those people are signaling you.
I turn to her.
Me: Who?
Girl: The car next to us. They’re yelling at you. They need something. They’re waving and stuff.
I look over. The car next to us is an SUV filled...
My Blu Tinted Glasses: I FOUND ICE CUBES 'GOOD... →
deliciouskaek:
note-a-bear:
str8nochaser:
kingjaffejoffer:
murkavenue:
CLUE 1: “went to short dogs house, they was watching Yo MTV RAPS” Yo MTV RAPS first aired: Aug 6th 1988 CLUE 2: Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on: Feb 23 1993 CLUE…
4 tags
